Self-sabotage is a concept I have never gotten the full concept of until I looked it up. When I learn a new word, I relate to it fast from where I have learned from, and being a researcher, I will sometimes look it up when want to get the full concept of the word. I have learned the word from a lot of online videos where I saw people saying they can self-sabotage a relationship if they are scared of the future. These were my findings in this particular word. It means creating problems in daily life that will interfere with long-standing goals and the most common problems include procrastination, self-medication with drugs and alcohol, comfort eating, and self-injury through cutting. Sometimes we are not aware we are self-sabotaging our lives. I did not procrastination was a bad thing but I did not know I was self-sabotaging until I knew the meaning.
Research says that it is hard to know you are self-sabotaging because the consequences do not follow the actions. Being a perfectionist is also a form of self-sabotaging. “Wueeh!” I have no words. My whole life has been self-sabotaged by me, myself and I. I want to think self-sabotaging is a trauma response. Of course, it is, especially in love. When you have been hurt, you would want to protect yourself at all costs so that you cannot be hurt again, and this is where we start building walls and if we continue building these walls, you will trap yourself in and that is where you self-sabotage. You numb yourself so that you don’t get hurt. It is clear that it is not easy to realize when you are self-sabotaging your life but we can always learn.
As I was also in the dark about this, I am excited I get to write this. The word kept replaying in my head and the easiest way to forget something is to look at it from inside to outside and up to the bottom so that one can fully understand it. There are a few ways to Identify the triggers for self-sabotaging behavior, being more conscious awareness of your thoughts, one should take notes when one is feeling a distressing emotion, for example, being an overthinker has been one of my weaknesses although I can’t help it, I would like to stop overthinking and live a healthy life. I recently started writing my emotions. In the past, I never wanted to, because I was scared of facing my emotion head-on. A solution is to write down what you were thinking before the emotion and the emotion itself.
For those who find themselves self-sabotaging a relationship, here is a piece of advice I wish I had taken keenly. Commitment in a relationship is not easy, when things get hard we find ourselves running away from issues before facing them and trying to make things easier and that is a form of self-sabotage. A solution to this is to understand your childhood relationship patterns and Identifying current triggers like picking fights or blaming a partner through journaling. We should learn to tolerate some discomfort and respond with healthy behavior instead by communicating habits and progress with our partners and cultivating compassion.
Most of us want to be successful in life and things like self-esteem, procrastination, or poor financial decisions. Identifying the triggers for this behavior and making an action plan. For example, if you are always negative, you can start by saying one positive thing until it becomes a ritual, more like manifestation, and with time, your life will be filled with more positives than negatives. It is a lot of things that I have not mentioned, but we can Identify our self-sabotage practices and try to correct them, and live a happy life. For more research you can use sites like Self-Sabotage | Psychology Today to expound on your knowledge. I hope that was a mind opener to you like it was to me.
P.S. I LOVE YOU BTW!