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When I receive positive feedback on my articles from my readers, I get to have a sense of Self-Gratification. I have to say I received this request most peculiarly and it made me smile and made my day, the request was signed off with a formal letter ending but most informally, I liked it. When I think of self-gratification, my mind goes to things I should be thankful for in my life, but it is a whole topic I would like to discuss. Self-gratification is the act of satisfying one’s own’s needs or desires, often without regard for the needs or desires of others. Some examples of self-gratification include overeating, overspending, compulsive gambling, substance abuse, and sleeping around, and it can be either positive if it leads to feelings of happiness, contentment, and personal growth or negative if it harms oneself or others and leads to feelings of guilt, shame or regret. Let me explain further if positive self-gratification is aligned with one’s values and goals, it brings positive vibrations into one’s life.

Negative self-gratification is not aligned with one’s values and goals and can be a negative force in one’s life. If you are consistent with what you want to be and the life you want to live, it becomes aligned with your values and goals. To avoid being confused and practicing negative self-gratification, you can create a gratitude list for yourself, which entails a list of things a person is thankful for, including big or small things such as a person, place, experience, or personal quality. When I received this topic, I had a lot of questions for myself and also for the one who gave me this topic, day by day I learn that I have never concentrated on myself that much, sometimes I don’t even understand myself, my feelings are always all over the place, and I am really difficult to deal with. Sometimes I ask myself if I am worth fighting for, sometimes I feel like I am alone and I don’t understand my purpose in this life when everything is not going my way. I am sure my dear friend felt like this too and wanted his life to have meaning.

These days we die young, and to think that what if I fall and die while I have not accomplished anything major in life? Will people have something nice to say about me, but it all starts with yourself, for people to value you, you must value yourself first, and for you to understand your worth you must know what makes you happy, what makes you the brightest. Why is it important to have a gratitude list? Because it helps one to shift their focus from negative to positive which improves one’s well-being, when you look at yourself which are the ugliest parts of your body? I will go first, sometimes I hate how my teeth aren’t white, I hate how my back is bent and my posture is not that great, and I hate that everyone has a big butt but me, but if people point this out, I feel ten times worse, but what if I change the way I think about myself, instead of listing the ugly parts, why don’t I list the prettiest parts of my body which are more than my ugly ones, or at least the ones I think are ugly, and when I start judging myself and I run to my list, my list should make me happy of being who I am.

Regularly reflecting on the things that I am thankful for, helps me cultivate a positive mindset and reduces stress, anxiety, and depression. Your list can include the things you are thankful for, and be thankful for life always, as I said we are dying a lot these days and the fact that you can breathe to see another day should be number one on your gratitude list, you can be thankful for people too, I have had a lot of close relationships, from friends to relationships, but not everyone got to stay with me till the end, I for sure know I am a difficult person to deal with, especially because I take things personally, and I have a lot of expectations on people, but to those people, who still stand by me when I am so hard to deal with and never give up on me are on my gratitude list, it is quite rare to find people who have your back so if you get them put them down on that gratitude list. If music makes you forget your bad days, put that down too, working out makes you feel better put that down too, cooking, baking, sleeping, make-up, adventures, and helping one another. And if you get to be sad, just look at your list and do one of those things to brighten yourself.

How do I make a gratitude list? Is this a question you will ask yourself by the end of the day? Start by setting aside a few minutes to reflect on the things you are thankful for by writing them down, you can focus on specific themes like relationships, health, or personal growth. The list can be long or short as long as you like it. Focus on the positive and cultivate a sense of gratitude in your life. When you feel like your life may be meaningless, your gratitude list should help you find meaning in your life, and yes forbidden fruits are sweet, but they were forbidden for a reason. A special thank you to my sincerest friend who gave me this topic to tackle, I have been truly living life in airplane mode and the famous slogan It is what it is, but with some knowledge gained, I feel like my growth is starting to happen. I do not have a gratitude list myself because I never had any self-gratification for myself but it is not a little something that cannot be fixed as the famous Swahili saying goes, “kuteleza sio kuanguka”. Hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing.

I would like to leave you with a song I listen to when I am usually down, another friend of mine introduced me to this artist and I am thankful for her, even though I don’t say it much, it is called Rose in The Dark by Cleo Soul, that soul type of music that touches your soul.