Relationships are hard, be it love, family, imaginary friendships, or every other relationship. Every relationship requires you to put all the energy into them. It is exhausting trying to be a people pleaser.
I have always been antisocial for most of my life, but I had a small circle of friends who understood me, and I have always kept them by my side because it is so hard to find real and rare people who care and understand you. I never had a best friend, I used to hear people call each other ‘bafafa’, ‘Best Friend Forever (BFF)’ ‘Heaven on Earth (HOE)’, and ‘baffie’, I never got to call someone like that because I was either unlucky or just picky, but I got to call people Twin and we don’t look alike and ‘Shishte’ that is sister. I used to be the third wheel in a group of besties, and I used to be okay with it because it was easier than the drama that comes with friendships, especially with girls.
Got to class eight and we moved houses, and I got a friend, it took her a long time to get to me because I was always at home or school, and eventually, she got to me and I am really glad and thankful she did because it was like she opened a door in myself I never thought existed. But as I said, I was always the third wheel in friendships, so when we met, she already had a best friend they had grown up with and I just joined the group.
The main course in relationships such as friendships is kukosana over the smallest and pettiest things. My friend who got through to me let me call her M and our other friend called W knew each other, likes and dislikes and I was getting to know both of them which was nice. One day M got a boyfriend and this boy was everyone’s crush kwa group. When she bagged him we were all happy for her or were we?
The guy was hot and the swag was on point, maringo nayo hapo hakubahatisha. He made us go crazy and we were happy she got him but that is where shit started to go sideways. We all had a crush on this dude, right? But I got over my crush once my friend M got him but what about W? She said she was okay but it seemed she wasn’t because she was always running her mouth to the dude about what M was doing and where she was and who she was with until M got another boyfriend and W was also obsessed with number two which led to a lot of mistrust, envy and the end of the friendship.
Fast forward I moved again and became distant from my friend M, and we moved again, we move a lot and came back to the area where we used to hang around with M and when we were catching up she mentioned she got a best friend from her school. She talked about her a lot which made me feel somehow left out because I never gave anyone the Title best friend apart from M, because of my belief which is a best friend is only created for one person and they should be best friends forever and no sharing but I guess it was just a tale. I eventually understood that kila mtu ako na beshte wake na I should not force things. But that is just my point of view on friendships.
- INNER WORK. - July 7, 2023
- SELF-GRATIFICATION. - July 4, 2023
- “TWO SIDES OF A COIN” - July 1, 2023