Expectations can be hard to reach. Everything in this life requires expectations from performing in your studies to committing to a relationship, and good performance at your work, you are expected by a family expecting you to be the best version of yourself, and also your own expectations in your life. The definition of expectation is a belief that someone will or should achieve something and the definition in a relationship, it is what we assume a relationship should be like. Relationships in our generation have been normalized to games and hurting each other so much that we have ignored how a relationship should be healthy and just gone with the flow. For a relationship to be healthy, according to my research, there should be expectations set in place so that the other person can try to perform to these expectations rather than focusing on hurting each other. When we lose someone we used to love or cherish, we realize there were a lot of mistakes that we could have corrected from the word go, but because we all jump into relationships head first we ignore the foundation of relationships which includes expectations.
Here are some reasonable and realistic expectations in a relationship; Showing affection which helps in keeping a relationship strong, safe, secure, and wanted by your partner. Being honest is being completely truthful with oneself and your partner which will promote openness in a relationship. I would rather you be honest with me about something that happened than keep it a secret because I will doubt your excuses. Your reasons may be true and you may be explaining that something was not your fault but if it is kept a secret for so long, it will make me doubt everything that you tell me because if you managed to fool me once why should I not expect it again?
Being able to not trust your partner makes a relationship shaky which causes a relationship to fail. But trust is not something that comes easily, it is earned with time. And if that trust is broken instead of letting the relationship sink just because you feel bad someone is not putting their trust in you, you should ask them what you could do to earn their trust back. It’s not that they will never trust you, it’s just that it might be hard for them to believe you mean well to them, but if you put in the effort, it will be rewarded with trust. Emotional support is all about reassurance, love, empathy, and support in miserable times which creates a strong foundation amongst partners. Being able to be with someone who reassures me how much I mean to them, would make me perform well in a relationship.
Receiving respect means accepting the other person’s opinion even if it is different from what we think which is very essential in a healthy relationship. For example, your partner gains a lot of weight, but instead of telling your partner they still look beautiful and nothing has changed their view of them, you are the first one to criticize them and tell them how they should be working out, but they tell you they are not ready yet, because they are still adjusting to the body change, instead of pushing your opinion on them, listen to their decision and respect it and when they will be ready, you will be the first one to be pestered with the questions and them asking you for advice.
Being understanding helps one to understand one another and helps one to see your partner’s perspective without being judgmental. An example is the scenario above. If you understand your partner’s perspective then it eliminates a lot of misunderstandings and arguments. Accountability is being able to own one’s mistake instead of trying to avoid it and make sure the mistake is not repeated. It includes apologizing for poor behavior, being self-aware and self-inquiring and can empathize with others. Setting boundaries such as your alone time being respected, individual thoughts being celebrated, your time is appreciated and you don’t change your beliefs when you enter the relationship but remaining your true self.
When setting expectations, don’t set them too high that when it is not reached you bawl out your eyes. Set your expectations to be reasonable and also do not put all your expectations high.
P.S. I LOVE YOU BTW!
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