Yes, I have been silent. I know, life is not as easy as many think or envision it to be, especially if you’re just out of school, fresh, looking for work until you realize that “kwa ground, vitu ni different” or what they say…I have a reason why I had gone on a short hiatus. I have been having the worst mind block, I couldn’t even form a sentence. It was bad. Hopefully, this one will get me out for good.
Story time!!!
So it was this bright morning niko seated kwa nyumba scrolling through social media looking for interesting topics when I came across a site called brightermonday.com.
The site looked familiar my guys, I just couldn’t remember where or when I actually saw the site. Apparently, I had just gotten myself out of a dark pit of depression that drained the energy out of me, so I applied for one to five jobs, feeling so motivated that at least one would come bearing the “We are pleased to inform you that….” kind of email.
That was just what I needed to hear at least to get me moving. I scrolled through my Instagram page to check if any one had been interested in ordering any pastries(yes, I can bake and I kinda have a small business that I do so as to get some money ya “kushikilia” as they say).
Fast forward two to three weeks passed by as I still have the same ol routine, waking up, saying my salah, baking some pastries here and there, outdoor selling, writing some blogs and cooking at the end of the day- seems busy but in the midst of it I found myself in a state that I couldn’t understand what was going on.
Don’t get me wrong -I love myself but depression doesn’t choose. It doesn’t care if you’re beautiful or smart or having whatever quality, it comes, and sometimes it hits more than expected. In the midst of my mental chaos an email was sent to my inbox after three long weeks- not that I expected any actually, I didn’t. I had been called for an interview. I breathed for the first time in like 7 months maybe? A year, perhaps I felt so good, suddenly I had energy flowing through again, so I started preparing for an interview. I got myself a nice suit, good shoes and did my hair and nails, I was so ready to conquer the world.
The interview was to happen a week later, so I was totally ready. I wrote back to them that I would show up for the interview. The night before the interview came. I ironed my clothes, kept my certificates and CV in order then decided to say a short dua in thanks to that.
An hour later, as I was taking dinner with my parents, an email was sent, from work . Only this time, It was an email that was saying….”Dear ….Sorry for the inconveniences. We have just realized that we contacted the wrong person as you both share the same first name….”
Damn. That was the only word I would say. I couldn’t even eat anymore. I just…. I can’t. Siwezi…yani tu vile….wacha tu. Bye for now.
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